A failure is as a failure does…

What’s on the to do list for Monday?  How about, clean all three bathrooms, dust, sweep and mop, clean the entire kitchen, including the appliances, get three (four, five….) people dressed and ready to be somewhere in time, make three healthy meals, do the dishes from those meals, give the baby a bath, clean out the car, make 3 very important phone calls, and maybe the one I want to make but have had to put off for weeks because I just haven’t had time to talk, email my kid’s teacher…….

That list could go on and very well be any one of our to do’s for one day.  And it could be totally doable.  But it could also make you feel like there is a whirlwind spinning around you out of control, and all you want to do is pause for a breath of fresh air! You just wanna yell “Stop the world, I wanna get off!!”  I have been in a state before where I felt so overwhelmed.  Like I was drowning and just couldn’t get my head above water.  As women, we are very hard on ourselves.  And for many women, the people around them are very hard on them too.  (Ask someone that knew your mother-in-law when her kids were young.  They just might not tell you her house was imaculate then, even though she just “cannot understand” why it’s so hard for you….!)  Do you have these crazy days like I do?  I don’t mean crazy, hectic.  Most days are crazy hectic!  I mean days when you feel crazy.  Your mind gets the best of you and you feel like you are just the biggest failure in the world.  Try as you may you just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and you feel like a failure.  It’s hard, and being mentally and emotionally drained like that will drain you physically.  And then guess what, it becomes even more difficult for you to be productive.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Some people cannot wrap their minds around feeling like this.  If you are one of those people, consider yourself very blessed.  But keep in mind that some things that should be a no brainer, are truly difficult for some people.  It’s funny, I could be cleaning one day and thinking “Why does this seem so hard sometimes?  It’s really not that big of a deal.”  And the very next day have all the kids tugging at me in different directions, the phone ringing off the hook, the baby in a mood and crying for me to hold him every. single. minute. Hubs calling needing me to do something that wasn’t already in my plans…  On those days, I’d remember thinking that and just want to scream “This is why!  This!  It’s impossible! No wonder I can’t get anything done!!”

So… how do you get back on top?  How do you find the light at the end of the tunnel?  I don’t know that I can answer that for everyone.  Of course, the biggest thing to me is lots of prayer.  We tend to even forget to pray during these times.  I believe God gives us more grace during the hard seasons.  (…and shall gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11b)  And clinging to him when we need him most really helps.  Even if it’s not going to be in the form of prayer, you need to find a way to come to terms with your weaknesses.  If laundry is piled to the moon, and it’s all you can do to make sure everyone has two socks in the morning (regardless of if they match!) then express that.  And maybe you can’t express it to anyone else, sometimes we don’t have someone to talk to that can be understanding.  But acknowledge it to yourself, maybe write it in a journal, pray about it, get it out in whatever way works for you. Realize where you struggle most, and give yourself some grace as you push through.  It doesn’t mean accept it as too hard and give up.  Just allow yourself the honesty to admit that you struggle with certain things.  It will help a lot.  When you know what is the most difficult for you, you can plan to do those things at times during the day that are lower pressure.  Then the things that you could do in your sleep, can be planned during the higher stress times.  But you are not a failure.  Restructure your thinking, restructure you day, and then repeat as needed!  If you accept defeat, you are defeated.  But if you refuse to give up you cannot fail!  You’re sure to have set backs.  But hey, two steps forward and one step back, is still one step ahead of where you were.  Keep moving forward, and you will not be a failure!!

Smile through the trials!

Tiffany

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